Hello again everybody. Sorry if I scared you all with that last e-mail. This one shouldn’t be nearly as long, painful, or interesting. It will be much more convenient for my subscribers that can’t read.
Anyway, this e-mail is going to be a blatant attempt to persuade one, two or many of you to come to Vegas with me over Spring Break. I booked a room in the Luxor from Tuesday March 23rd through Friday March 26th. The room can fit four comfortably, but lots more uncomfortably. Probably somewhere around 225 honestly, but that would be pushing the uncomfortable limit. Anyway, right now Joanna and I are going, but if you are getting this e-mail, you’re invited. Unless you’re that 52-yr-old hooch that my colleague keeps trying to hook me up with. Actually, what the hell? Anyway, I can book a flight tomorrow for $268 round trip and the room is only $420 total for four nights. Plus, I plan on winning at least $500, so the trip should pay for itself. So anybody interested? I already asked a bunch of people and most of my college friends are already going somewhere else or aren’t 21 yet. Most of my friends with real jobs don’t get a random week off in the middle of March and my unemployed friends can’t really afford to go. But that’s why you need to win money. Some people just don’t understand. So holla back if you want to come along. I’ll split my winnings. Or my losings.
So if you don’t play Texas Holdem, you might not get this, but trust me, it’s funny. My dad was playing in Atlantic City with a friend of his and his friend stayed in on a non-suited 3-6. My dad just kinda shook his head. A few hands later, my dad folded and Billy looked at his first two cards, shook his head, showed the non-suited 3-6 to my dad, and threw his $6 in the pot. After the flop, he once again folded. So my dad turned to him and asked why he kept staying in on a non-suited 3-6…
Billy: “It’s my daughter’s birthday, March 6th. I stay in the pot to at least see the flop.”
Dad: “Oh, OK. I got it now. I guess I play my son’s birthday too.”
Billy: “When’s your son’s birthday?”
Dad: “January 1st.”
Get it? Even if you don’t play Holdem, you should at least get it. AH, whatever.
Your 7 card stud,
Still Standing Right Here…