OK. I figure a week is long enough for you to read that whining dissertation on the problems with cars and women and tendons. And thanks to everybody who responded. I’m sure more people plan to when they actually finish it sometime later this year. It took me ten years to write. Take your freakin time. Now I’m gonna whine a little bit about getting old. I went out Monday night and as I was getting ready, I noticed a gray hair on the right side of my head by my ear. This is bad. Not horrible, but pretty bad. Because my hair is long now, so the gray hairs are like weeds now. And I was going to a friend’s 21st birthday celebration, so I didn’t want to be mistaken for her father or any shit like that. Anyway, I spent about 15-20 minutes in front of the mirror weeding my head for the grays, or any suspicious-looking characters. I’m sure I pulled out at least 5 hairs that the light may have just hit wrong at the time, but those are just the casualties of war. They knew they were at risk on the front line. Now I know this admission is not very flattering to my image, especially as it pertains to dating right now, but I am OK telling you all of this. And here’s why. I know I have no chance with anyone on this list anymore. Niki has pointed out to me that anyone who gets involved with me runs the risk of being exploited as Psycho Chick 3.0 in front of all of my and her peers. And frankly, I’m not worth the risk of public humiliation. Thankfully, this is something I’ve come to terms with. I had no idea this list of mine would backfire this badly. Well, at least now I know it isn’t my bad aftershave or horrible posture that is driving the women away. So anyway, I’ve given up on the women on this list. And I trust the rest of you will maintain my anonanimity if this is an issue you wish to share with your friends. Which it really shouldn’t be, beacuse this isn’t really one of my better ones. But it’s late and I’m tired and I already typed most of it, so you’re gonna have to bite the bullet on this one folks. Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, I was scouring my head for unwanted death. Well, it reminded me of the first time I put contacts in last year. I forced those torturous things into my eyes and I was sitting about 4 inches from a mirror when I finally got the sucker into my eyeball…
Me: “When I finally got my contacts in, the first thing I noticed was that I had gray hair.”
Geoff: “Come on Dustin, your vision wasn’t that bad before.”
He always knows just what to say.
Back to the ole slave and grind,
Still Standing Right Here…