Our Fan-niversary

Our Fan-niversary

It has always been my belief that couples should not consider themselves official until they’ve endured at least one entire NFL season (two if you’re a Redskins fan because November and December don’t count). Well, as of Sunday around 10:30pm, Jen and I became an official couple. This is great news, mostly for her. Because now it means that football season is over and I have to take down all my Eagles blankets and banners and bar stools (no I don’t, but I wish I did). But it also means that we’ve endured the toughest stretch that a relationship can go through. Though being snowed in with each other for 6 straight days is proving to be an unexpectedly grueling challenge.

It didn’t always look like we were going to get here either. We started dating around playoff time last year (early January) but things didn’t get serious until I moved in sometime around draft day (mid-April). I know. I work fast. I warned her then but I don’t think she understood the magnitude of my addiction. There were some hiccups around August when pre-season games started popping up on the TV and fantasy drafts took up a couple weekends. But then the real season started. I don’t know that I saw her for the first four weeks.

See, I’m a Philly fan and before any of you say anything, I did not personally electrocute any dogs – so cut that shit out. Living down here in Redskin territory means that I have to leave the house to watch the game. I was out of the house so many Sundays in a row, Jen thought I had found religion. And that’s not an unfair parallel to draw. I would get dressed and attend every mass every Sunday afternoon at Our Lady of the NFL. We pray to the Holy Roller, the Music City Miracle and the Immaculate Reception, Amen.

And every Sunday, we had the same conversation. “I’m out at the bar… Because the game’s on… No, it’s not on at home… Yes, I know we get 8,000 channels, it’s not on any of them… No I can’t… Because there’s a game on after that and another one after that. I told you all this shit back in April – you said you’d be cool!” 17 weeks and I think we had a similar conversation at least 13 times and she was in the Ghaza Strip for 3 weeks.

Then she’d ask why we couldn’t do anything Monday if the Phillies already played. And yes, she called them the Phillies more than once. And guys, why do we have to watch the Monday Night games, even when it’s Cleveland and Oakland? Because we have Zach Miller on our fantasy team and we still need 8 points to win our matchup. That was the part that almost got the locks changed.

But we shot the gauntlet and made it through. So many other couples have failed. Not us. But it wasn’t easy. Getting grilled on politics and religion by her father the day we met was a cakewalk compared to these last 5 months. So congrats to us. Now that we’ve officially made it, she’s saying something about a ring. I assume she was talking about the Superbowl. I know. She’s great.

Oh, and ladies. If you’re one of those gals who thinks that your relationship is fine because your boyfriend doesn’t like football, well then he’s gay. And isn’t this a shitty way to find out.

Still Standing Right Here…

QOTD credits: Kevin Hershey – (Fanniversary, see comments below)

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3 thoughts on “Our Fan-niversary

  1. I would like to start off by thanking Dustin for this beautiful rendition of our relationship! However, here are a few things I would like to defend:
    1. I do not call the Eagles the Phillies…I know the difference.
    2. You forgot to mention that you not only watched Monday night, Sunday all day football but you also played football during the weekend and got home from work every night around 10 or 11pm.
    3. You’re right, it took me awhile to understand the importance of fantasy football. I still think it is a waste of time but there are so many of you that enjoy it sooo, that it must be entertaining and I shouldn’t be so judgmental about the whole thing. I plan to have my own fantasy football team next year!
    4. Honey, I gave up on asking you where and why before 17 weeks. I think I got to week four and decided that I would either have to join you or pretend you don’t exist…I wonder which one I picked?
    5. Ring? You’re the one that thought this would be great to bring up to my family so that they would call me every few days to ask me when the big day is going to be. I’m just saying!
    6. I would like to take this opportunity to comment on one of your last posts by stating that you only own half the TV and the whole thing of sushi rice.
    7. I love you very much and thank you for making it through an entire NFL season of football with me!

  2. Thank you babe, for being such a great girlfriend and playing along – not only with all the football, but also the blog post. I love you. 🙂

    And in case any of you were wondering, “Anonymous” is Jen in this case. I think.

  3. Congrats on what I’ve decided to call your Fanniversary! Just for the record, if you happen to be the husband that doesn’t like football, it’s a pretty shitty way to find out too. I’ve gotta do some thinking…


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