This batch of cookies that I made for my class in an effort to bribe, err… thank them – wasn’t my first. Nor my best. Nor were they even really mine. How much ownership am I allowed to take for opening a batch of cookie dough and heating it up in the oven? I was merely a vessel for Tollhouse to get their cookies to my class. They deserve any positive evaluations that I get as a result. I’ll make sure to put that in my end of the year report.

Anyway, I first brought my cookies to the UB campus last December in an inadvertent cookie-baking contest between me and the Dean of Students. In an evite, I declined entering the chili cook-off but I would happily join (create) a cookie-baking contest. It was innocent enough to start. It was really just my way of bowing out of the chili contest and letting the party know I wasn’t just free-loading free chili. Well, then the trash talking started. And apparently, Kathy (the aforementioned Dean of Students) can bake some nasty borderline-addictive Christmas Cookies. Oops. Too late to back out now. Coworkers heard of this and started to talk trash on her behalf. “Your cookies better have crack cocaine in them if you want them to have a chance.” Well, they did not. In fact, my special “Christmas Cookies” had exactly whatever Nestle told me they should have and in those exact proportions. I just put red & green M&Ms in them so I could call them “Christmas Cookies.”

Not only were my Christmas Cookies outmatched and unoriginal, but they also weren’t even really Christmas Cookies, according to one co-worker…

“Putting M&Ms in your cookies doesn’t make them Christmas Cookies, it makes them Pedophile Cookies.”

– John Chapin

We all celebrate in our own way.

Sticking to the original recipe,

Doughboy.

Still Standing Right Here…