I don’t think I told you guys this as a big collective group yet, but we now have a kitten. My roommate’s girlfriend’s parents decided it was a good idea to burden me with wildlife at this point in my life. This thing is wild too! It’s traditionally really good about not clawing people’s skin, but if it tries to jump up on your leg and starts to fall, it’s no holds barred. Every cat for themselves. It’s fallen from the height of my leg many times before, I don’t know what it’s scared of. Hell, I’ve thrown it at least 10 feet in the air across the room against the wall before and it didn’t even limp. Hell, it didn’t even move. And it did, even after impact, land on its feet. You know, they say that cats always land on their feet when they fall or when you throw them. Well, I figured out that so do dogs. And gerbils. And fish. It’s just that we see cats land on their feet more often because it is necessary to throw cats around, whereas dogs, gerbils, and fish will listen to you. All you have to do is hit the dog once and say “NO!!” real loud and he’ll get the idea from then on not to do whatever it was he did. He also learns what the word “no” means really fast. Not cats. He needs to jump on my lap to try to help eat my cereal, and he still does it every freakin day. And everyday, I punt him across the room into the wall. Damn thing doesn’t learn. I’ll bet modern psychology would turn 180 degrees if Pavlov had cats instead. People say dogs are dumb, but this kitten refuses to learn this stuff, despite it’s many flights across the dining room against her will. And it comes right back for more. This dude has no fear. I don’t know why there are so many terms associated with cats being scared. Fraidy-cat… Scaredy-cat… Pussy.
I’m going back to Spring Break for this quote that I almost forgot about. I almost got my ass kicked in Jacksonville for freaking some girl that was apparently already taken. I told Meawad I couldn’t see. I was just happy to not be freaking a guy. Anyway, I went out there with Meawad, and I told Tony that he needed to start coming into the fire with us more often. There was a girl checking him out and I told him a good icebreaker is asking her to dance with him (this was before I used that same technique to almost get my ass kicked)…
Quote of the Day 4/29/99
“It sounds like a good idea, but I can’t dance. I might as well go up and ask her to knit or something, because I can’t do that either.”
“Hey baby. Howz about you and me go back to my place and I show you the antitrust & regulation of my macroeconomics, if you know what I mean.” If that’s the kind of stuff I was good at, I’d risk looking like a fool by gyrating randomly around the wood floor. Or shoving random needles into cotton.
“Playing” with the kitten,
Still Standing Right Here…