Balls and Worms

Balls and Worms

Well, I have some news for you guys. After bitching and complaining about how stupid the phrase “the ball is in your court” was, my mom sent me a message enlightening me of the origin of the actual term. Back in the days before disco, when kings had balls (as in dances, not testicles), they would throw parties and invite everyone around the land. Back in the old days, there was a sense of social obligation to carry your own weight, or there was a possibility of a beheading. So to spread the obligation around, the lords of the land would alternate who’s “court” the ball would be held in. So after a ball was held, it became tradition for the hosting lord to approach the lord scheduled to hold the next ball and say to him “the ball is in your court, sire.” Eventually, the “sire” was dropped for modern-day style reasons, and hence the saying that I no longer think is so stupid anymore. Now if anybody can help me out with “farting around,” that one still stumps and disgusts me.

For those of you who care, Lance Yelnick Mikey Freelander from PA had a birthday a few weeks back, during my not-so-sabbatical. I was telling him over the phone about our new place and how he had to come down to check it out. 300 channels of programming, Friends-style “recliner row” complete with living room beer/coke fridge, and the devil embodied in fur. To sweeten the deal, I told him that we (Tony) had just bought Worms: Armageddon. This game is awesome! It combines all the old fun of high pitched yelps of desperation and clumsy mishandling of weaponry for comedic effect with some really neat shit! There are weapons with names like “holy hand grenade,” “old exploding lady,” and “baseball bat.” And the sheep fly in this game. And there are about 80 different voices you can choose from, including Drill Sergeant, Geezer, and Angry Scots, and you can pick your own victory theme music. But don’t take my word for it. Come over and try it for yourself. Please. We’re bored. But anyway, I was telling Mike all this with a lot of excitement in my voice, and Mike started whimpering as I was explaining this to him, because last time I introduced him to the regular game of worms, he flunked out of college, lost his girlfriend, and stopped eating to play worms 20 hours a day. But I don’t care. It’s not my life and I need somebody to play with. So I was telling him how you can walk over to another worm and hit him with a baseball bat straight up in the air or release a skunk bomb to spray all over the enemy like a biological weapon, and I could physically hear his will breaking over the phone…

Quote of the Day 7/12/99

Me: “…so anyway, you have to come down and play. I’ll even copy the game for you.”
Mike: “Dustin, there are already some days where I don’t leave the house.”

Damn, Mike. There are some days where I don’t even get a chance to go back to mine anymore.

Looking for a court to hold my balls in,

Dustin.

Still Standing Right Here…

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