Sarcasm in Training

Sarcasm in Training

Sorry about that last absence, but the last week has just been one big blur of booze, drugs, and chicks. Actually, the chicks are only about 9-12 years old, the booze is pink lemonade, and the drugs were vitamin C pills. By the way, I was really sick last week. At first I thought it was just allergies, but it turns out I had strep throat. Apparently, I’m allergic to bacteria. I didn’t see a doctor or get a throat culture or anything, but I just have a feeling. I also have a feeling that the earth is getting dangerously close to the sun and will cause our atmosphere to burn up almost completely within the next 7 years, so take that medical diagnosis however you want to. But I was sick. Of that much, I’m positive.

I’ve said it before, but I love seeing children outsmart these “adults” we have working for us. Especially when it shows signs of a budding sarcastic bitter hatred for the world’s supposed “humanity.” One of the 12-year-old girls in the older group is cheating on her “boyfriend” from school with a 13-year-old junior counselor at camp. And she shows no remorse for what she’s doing. Apparently I’ve been giving women a bad rap. It’s not a conscious choice they make to be evil. It’s inherent in their DNA. Genetics is to blame and that’s a losing battle, despite what those Austin Powers penis pumps say on the label. If it wasn’t for the fact that men’s DNA make them inherently blind to it, procreation of the human race could be in serious jeopardy. I think I got a little off the topic for a second or two.

Anyway, I have a pet peeve which is admittedly sort of anal, but a pet peeve nonetheless. I get so annoyed when people leave dangling prepositions on the end of their sentences. “Where’s Darryl at?” Crap like that. There’s absolutely no reason for the “at.” It’s an extra syllable you could save for later in life, it makes you sound less intelligent, it’s not grammatically correct, and all the information you need is contained in “Where’s Darryl?” That, and it annoys me and I’ll tell you about it when you do it, which will annoy probably both of us. Anyway, I’m trying to stop this at an early age in day camp. A 15-year-old junior counselor named Erica was caught using the sentence “Where can I get the dodge balls from?” I then went off on my little anti-preposition dangling schpeal (sp?), to which she corrected herself…

Quote of the Day 7/20/99

“Sorry. From where can I get the dodge balls at?”

-Erica

Apparently, smart ass is in the DNA too.

Ridding the world of the grammatically incorrect youth,

Mr. Cantaloupe.

Still Standing Right Here…

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