Hey. It snowed again. A lot. But just to throw a little wrench into things, it alternated snow, sleet, and rain. So there are a bunch of different layers out there, but ice is at the root of all of them, which makes for much more fun driving. I knew I was going to have problems when I started fishtailing around a corner in my sneakers. Never a good sign. But it does make driving a lot more “fun.” I’ve gotten the controlled fishtail down to a science now. I was passing people on 95 who had skidded out of control into guard rails and were facing the wrong way and what not. Good Joe, wus that he is, asked me to slow down and stop doing donuts on the aforementioned major interstate. He was a little concerned about the aforementioned backwards cars. They just obviously couldn’t drive. Modern day Darwinism at work.
There’s a cool game a few of us have been playing recently called “Mafia.” I’ll spare everyone the details, but Russ is really good at guessing who is in the Mafia. I don’t understand it. It’s like he’s been given one talent in his life, and this is it. How unfortunate. But anyway, he’s really good at the game. In fact, he’s so confident sometimes, that he lays $5 down on the table for anybody to take and says he’ll bet that $5 that Julie or whoever is in the mafia. We questioned why just $5 if he was so confident. Then he showed us the glaring emptiness of his wallet with the absence of the dollar bill. Well, the game ended, proving Russ correct again, and he sighed a sigh of relief, picked up his money and said…
“Thank God! Now let’s put this money back in my wallet. In fact, let’s put it in with this condom where I’m bound to not find it again for a good long while.”
-Russel “Mafia Killer” Johnson
That’ll really get you in good with a girl. Heat of passion, you pull out a condom and a $5 bill at the same time. But that’s probably you’re type.
Carrying condoms and 57 cents in change,
Still Standing Right Here…