Wanna hear something funny? It’s also not gross like that last funny thing I sent, which I feel like I need to apologize for again. Anyway, I broke the elevator in the RAC. I was hanging out at our men’s volleyball practice, a little too tempted to go out onto the court in my crutches, I might add, when all of a sudden, I noticed that I lost Blue. Blue is a stuffed dog from Blues Clues, a kids TV show with a host named “Steve” who allegedly looks a lot like me. Anyway, the last day of camp, one of my girls got me a small stuffed Blue with magnetic paws. I realized very early on that he easily fit his paws around my crutch so that, as Good Joe pointed out, he was humping it. I like it a lot. Very cute to win over chicks with the cute pity factor, yet subtly seductive. I actually haven’t been able to capitalize on any of the pity yet. But I still got a couple months. If anybody has suggestions, I’m willing to take them.
So anyway, I noticed Blue was missing, and I had become very attached to this guy, almost quite literally. So I panicked and ran around looking for him. I found him in the crack of the elevator, which I promptly pried open to rescue the poor magnetic inanimate object. I hit the elevator button to try to get him out first, and it wouldn’t work. So I guess technically Blue broke the elevator. But it’s broken. And O Hernrily as it is, now I, the one person in the entire building that really, REALLY needs the elevator, has to take the stairs because Blue broke it. I must have missed this episode. Fucking dog.
I don’t even think Mike was drinking before he said this one, so I just have to attribute it to stupidity. Mike, Joe, and I were cleaning up Kevin’s apartment (Mike and I were sitting down on the couch, and Joe was cleaning up) and Joe ran across a coke can on the table that was apparently a little more full than he had thought it was going to be. He said something like “whoa” or gasped or did something to draw enough attention to himself that Mike jumped in asking what was up…
Joe: “There’s an almost full coke can on the table.”
Mike: “Is it open?”
Gosh, I hope so.
Falling down the stairs,
Black and Blue.
Still Stranded Right Here…