Crazy Bout a Mercury

Crazy Bout a Mercury

Well, I did it. I went out and bought a new car today. Well, not really “new,” but more like “different.” Like for example, it stops when you step on the brakes, and it probably goes backwards. I’m not sure because I just instinctively pushed it out of the dealership. They looked at me really funny. Anyway, it’s a 94 Mercury… something. I forget. It’s not yellow. There was nothing yellow in my price range. It must be an expensive color.

I’ve got to take a moment to say goodbye to the Extendo-Mobile. It might have been a piece of shit, but it had character. The Extendo plates just won’t look the same on a maroon hatchback. And it provided me with a lot of material for you guys. This new thing looks to be in decent condition. No missing windows (or directions), 3 functional mirrors, and it even has a cupholder for my McFlurry. But it is a stick, which will be fun with my gimpy brace leg, and once I hit 40, the “check engine” light came on. Which, by the way should say “get engine checked,” instead of “check engine.” I pulled over and checked the engine myself. It was still there. At least I think that was the engine. Anyway, CarMax told me they’d fix it. They’re mailing me a 1×1 inch piece of electric tape tomorrow.

I also want to thank Rich for helping me out by coming with me and Joe for being my phone a friend in Michigan. I actually brought Rich with me because I wanted to see if we could steal a car first. He said something about already on probation or some crap. Good friend he is, eh? Anyway, people ask me what I’m doing with the old car and I really don’t know yet. Hadn’t thought about it. Some people ask why I didn’t try to trade it in. “Because it doesn’t stop or go backwards” usually ends that conversation. I didn’t want to have to push in into the dealership and haggle about it not having reverse and crap. If anybody wants to try, they can seriously have it. The only other decent idea I’ve come up with is taking the VID # off the front of the car and rolling it down a hill in the woods somewhere or into a lake or something. Dan then mentioned that there was an internal VID # hidden somewhere on the inside of the vehicle so people don’t do that sort of thing. Or at least so they don’t get away with it. He also said that he knew somebody who could take care of that for me if I wanted him to. Naturally, I asked how…

Quote Of the Day 10/20/00

“Well, let me put it this way. A friend of a friend knows more about cars than he should.

-Vulture Dan.

Maybe I should have gone to Dan before I went and spent hard earned money on a legally purchased vehicle.

Moving forward but going backward,


Still Stranded Right Here…

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