In case you’ve forgotten, and you probably have, every Tuesday was dedicated to rating some random things in the world, like my nicknames and ways to get money illegally. This was done to try to buy myself some material on a slow week. It also makes plagiarism a lot easier. Anyway, I’m going to try to continue that trend again this time around.
Torn hamstring – I battle all the way back from a ruptured Achilles tendon and a torn ligament in my other foot to do this shit. Ironically enough, I was wearing braces on both ankles, because I couldn’t financially afford another injury. Go figure the one part of my body I’ve never had problems with should call it quits. I really think I just completely used up my body already. D
Scotland – I went to Scotland over New Years and it was the first time I had been outside the country ever, unless you count the 3 hours I was on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, which I don’t. It was different. There are more castles. And less heat. And nobody could really appreciate my Doug Flutie jersey. And I had no idea how the hell to spend money over there. But I didn’t have to work and they have naked chicks all over their newspapers. B
The girlfriend saga – Well, it was certainly fun while it lasted. I finally convinced my family that I wasn’t really gay and that I wasn’t afraid of commitment. Then we broke up and I started drinking mineral water. I guess I’m back to square one. B+
Blown head gasket – On the plus side, I finally know exactly what happens. From the possible causes down to how to replace them. This is at least the third time that I’ve done this to a vehicle of mine, possibly the fourth. I’ve actually lost track of how many head gaskets I’ve blown in my very short driving career. Does this happen to anybody else out there? Why me all the damn time? I’ve never heard of this happening to anybody until I did it the first time, and now I’ve done it to three completely different types of cars. Do I drive differently than everybody else out there? And since when do I have to change my oil once every 3 years? F
So Mike and I were at Hooters, where I generally have all of my life-altering revelations, when I had another one. We were watching football and I turned to him and told him flat out that I had just decided that I was going to be a pro football player…
“But you’ve already had a career-ending injury.”
Damn the timing!
Running out of options,
Still Standing Right Here…