Rating Career Moves for Participation in the Celebrity Boxing Match

Career Moves for Participation in the Celebrity Boxing Match

Todd Bridges – Apparently, this guy was in Roots before Different Strokes. -Cut to 2002- His new movie, I Know What You Did In the Hood, is due out in theaters in the fall. Talk about falling hard. I imagine he got more money from celebrity boxing than all six of his 2002 films will gross. Plus, kicking Vanilla Ice’s ass on national TV was everybody’s dream at one point in time. A-

Vanilla Ice – Another “nowhere to go but up” case. Maybe if he had won this fight, it would have been a different stroke. But as it stands, he got his ass plastered by Willis. That can’t be good for his bad boy image. But at least he still has those ugly tattoos to fall back on. C-

Paula Jones – She was filling in for Amy Fisher, who they wouldn’t let out of jail for the fight, and I’m not kidding. Not that the turning her head away and walking backwards technique isn’t her best chance at surviving, but it didn’t make for the greatest show. I take that back, yes it did. It was kinda funny watching Tonya Harding bang her from behind while she ran all around the ring. Kinda like life in the oval office. B-

Tonya Harding – This event screamed Tonya Handing from the second I heard of it, right before it came on. Of course she was going to kick Paula’s ass and everybody knew it. She did not dissapoint. And she didn’t need a crobar and a couple thugs to do it. At least Paula wasn’t screaing “Why me?!” the whole damn time. A+

Danny Bonaduce – Not only was this event right up his alley, but it was probably his idea. A+

Barry Williams – What the hell was he thinking?! He better either be broke or owe somebody a huge favor for this. First of all, he shouldn’t even take his shirt off on public TV for less than $2 million dollars. And maybe it was ego, but Danny Bonaduce is younger (at age 42), stronger, in shape, and has boxed before. After that performance, I’m pretty sure Alice could have kicked his ass. D

Quote Of the Day 3/12/02

Rachel: “Why does he keep falling down?”
John: “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he’s 47 and he’s never boxed before?”

No. It’s got to be something else.

Spreading some vanilla icing,

Extendo.

Still Standing Right Here…

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