So there’s this guy named Jason Woody who happens to be an RA in the less new dorm, named Erickson. As opposed to the new new dorm called New Dorm. I’m not kidding. For those of you who don’t know, there have been two new dorms built in the past three years. They basically sold out their idea of having a body of water theme and named the less recent one after the guy who put up the money. Kinda like PSINet Stadium and 3Com Park, etc. So this new new dorm is already built and people are living in it and everything, and it still doesn’t have a name. I think they were waiting for somebody to put up money so they could name the thing, but it’s already built. So they don’t need money to build it anymore. So they just want somebody to give them money now so they have money, and in return, they will put that person’s name up on the New Dorm. That reaches a possible new height in selling out, unmatched by even the Stone Temple Pilots. So until somebody pays a lot of money, all envelopes going there will be addressed to “New Dorm.” I hope they have a sign up there that says New Dorm, because I think that would exemplify how pathetic UMBC really is.
Anyway, I got a little off track. Jason is an RA. And he plays all the intramural events we have. And he ran track as a walk-on for a couple weeks during his sophomore year. There are a few other similarities, but he has often been referred to as being me when I was his age. Stunning good looks and gay pink hat aside. So anyway, we were playing that Settlers game that I told you about (that is like a combination of RiSk and Civilization, not a combination of RiCk and Civilization – that would be closer to Robot Rally), and toward the end of the night, I went to tuck in my shirt, and I noticed that I had the same boxers on that I thought I saw sticking out of Woody’s shorts all night (It’s not as gay as it sounds right now, I swear). After an entire night that was spent going over more and more similarities between us, I pointed out that we had the same boxers on. That was almost a scary coincidence. Actually, it was a scary coincidence. And Colin pointed out something about the situation that I hadn’t thought of that made it even scarier…
“And not only do you have the same boxers on, but you actually noticed that you have the same boxers on.”
-Colin (brother of Brad) Fergus
OK, I’ve given up. Maybe it is a little bit gay.
Still Standing Right Here…