Rating Reasons My Apartment Sucks

Reasons My Apartment Sucks

Second Floor Shower Doesn’t Work – Well, this isn’t too bad, because it doesn’t affect me as I live on the third floor, but now I have four people showering in just one shower. So when you have a job that dictates you come in between 10 and 11, there ain’t much in the way of hot water. Thankfully, none of us are girls. D

Third Floor Shower Has Tiles Falling Off the Wall – OK, this is a problem. The first time I tried to take a shower about 6 months ago, I brushed against the soap dish and knocked it out of the wall. When I went to put it back, three tiles fell off the wall onto my feet, which were already bleeding (and probably infected) from the soap dish. The water was now directly hitting the wood on the other side of the shower, which I’m sure isn’t healthy. But I chose to ignore that fact. Now that there are four of us showering in there instead of one, two huge water stains have formed over Jere’s bed. We duct taped saran wrap over the tiles. That should do the trick. Soap dish is still removable. A

Third Floor Toilet Doesn’t Work – Everytime we use it, the used toilet water would leak onto Jere’s ceiling. A huge ugly water stain built up and eventually started leaking onto Jere’s bed while he slept. That’s disgusting. We turned the water to that toliet off. Then we had a party. The “toilet broken” sign didn’t seem to deter at least one person from puking in it. So I had to put up with that stench for the night until I turned the water back on to give the thing one last flush. Sorry Jere, but it was your party, puke head. So now we have to shower upstairs and go all the way downstairs to poop. Peeing… well, use your noggin. A+

Ran Out Of Heat – Apparently, we have this ancient system, where they (don’t know who “they” are yet) have to come and fill up our furnace from the inside. Our house predates BGE (and indoor plumbing, apparently). So all four of us had to fork over $96 for them to fill it back up early in January. But I think it’ll last for the rest of the winter. C-

Ran Out of Heat Again – This happened last week. That $388 lasted less than a month. There’s something wrong with this. I think Jere’s conning money out of me for flushing stale puke on his head. A-

Roof Is Falling Off – Well, not really. I was playing ping-pong on the fourth floor and I noticed a crack that went all the way around the wall where it met the ceiling. But I’m sure it’s nothing. D

Quote Of the Day 2/4/03

Me: “Should I be worried about this crack that goes all around the ceiling?”
Milky: “Hell, we got bricks coming out of the wall downstairs. I wouldn’t worry about that.”

We Have Bricks Coming Out Of the Wall Downstairs - It’s a neat rustic type feature, having a brick wall on the inside of your house. But really, you can just take some of the bricks out. I’m no engineer, but that’s not very structurally sound. B-

If that’s movin up, then I’m… movin out!

Mr. Whistlehead.

Still Standing Right Here…

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