OK. This is the day when I normally rate something that normally wouldn’t be rated. But you guys seem to be having so much fun with that last QOTD, I kinda want to run with it. I’ve gotten more responses for a quote than I think I have since the time I gave the Star Wars movie a bad rating. What a fucking debacle that was. And back then, I sent it out so that everybody could respond to everybody else. It turned into this bitter, opinionated e-argument between those people who liked the movie and thought I was unfair in my rating and those people who disagreed with the misuse of my mailing list. It got ugly. I lost two friends over that. But an important lesson was learned. And we can all agree that important lessons are sometimes worth at least the friendship of two Star Wars geeks.
Sorry, I off-tracked myself a little. So I had a lot of fanfare is what I was saying. Now while I don’t feel it is right to send out the entire thing to everybody on this list, I can give you all a taste. And with approximately every two sentences in this e-mail, one more person had to temporarily be deleted from this mailing list. Consider yourselves proud to have made the cut. Or to have an e-mail address I couldn’t easily associate with you. Anyway, I’m going to rank some of the responses I’ve gotten from everybody about the letter I sent out, to try to stay with the theme. And in a cheap attempt to make my job easier, I’m going to make them a whole week’s worth of quotes. I’m a schemer like that. So I hope you don’t mind the personal messages you sent back to me going public. I deleted all the emotional, non-funny stuff. And thanks to everybody that wrote back. Apparently, lots of people have my back.
Stryker: “Women are like a fine wine. You pay a lot of money expecting a nice experience. But most of the time they end up being bitter and dry. That and they stain the carpet.” – Here’s what I like about this response. And Stryker. He comes up with a completely out-of-the-blue simile that makes a very good and relevant point however random it might be, but to make sure he maintains both his comic integrity and his macho dignity, he throws in a little joke at the end so we know it’s not just a sympathetic “I love you, friend” type of note. It’s not the funniest thing he’s ever said, but he stayed within the framework of his intention. Well done. A
Jason Corns: “Despite the random flailings of women who think too highly of themselves… and despite even the staple-proof vest, you are a resoundingly thoughtful friend.” Jason had the same concept, but in reverse order. Equally as effective as Stryker’s and should show you the difference between the two of them and why obviously one is superior to the other. He started out with the joke and brought it back to the old “I got your back, bro” finale. Well constructed. A
Excerpt from 1/31/05:
> So please tell me now if I’ve ever thought that I was having a
> conversation with anyone on this list and I was actually undergoing some
> sort of exam and wound up failing miserably.
John Sears: “Dustin, it’s time you knew the truth. Your parents have the originals.” – So that’s how it works? Well, this was all joke and John will therefore not be confused for anyone going on “The View.” But our friendship is understood. He’s pinned it down perfectly so many times, comparing me to comets and tumbleweed. But in a good way. A
MJ: “Having to give someone a test to find other whether you like them (or apparently absolutely hate them) is like a doctor giving you his own second opinion in order to validate his first opinion. Now that I just read that last sentence I don’t know if that makes any sense. I should probably go get a third opinion. ;)” – Again with the similes. I like it. And this is like a joke on top of joke, the last of which he pokes fun at himself, which is one of my favorite techniques. He also went on to literally say that he had my back. Bro. A
Mike Conover: “Holy Christ on a stick! She’s fuckin nuts! People don’t even think to themselves the things she said, let alone write them and then actually communicate them.” – See, Mike had the benefit of actually reading the e-mail in its entirety, so his needs to be graded on a curve. He wrote back a dissection of her hate message that comes close to 5 pages single spaced in Word. I actually read it at work and because I kept getting interrupted, it took me 2 hours to read. And I laughed the entire time. Thanks, Mike. And now there are two copies out there in case of my disappearance. And I finally have a reason to get a safe deposit box. But anyway, Mike’s message was awesome, through and through. However, if I printed it all, I’d have to probably delete another 125 people off the list. But I’m sure I’ll throw out bits and pieces when I can. This quote was just how his 5 page response started. And it should sum up the tone of the letter. Anyway, good job Mike. Originally A+, but with curve, A.
Whew! Five quotes in one day! I’m beat.
T-1 day until Eagle Superbowl detonation,
Still Standing Right Here…