So yesterday was Valentines Day. My favorite holiday of the year. It’s a little like a Jewish holiday because not everybody really recognizes it as a holiday. I actually slept for 16 hours last night. It was the greatest Valentines Day ever. Except of course for the Valentines Day or Days when I was with one of my ex girlfriends who may still be on this list. Yeah, that was the best. I would like to apologize to all women now but you recently had a chick ruin Valentines Day for you, at least as far as it pertains to me. And this isn’t even that psycho chick I’ve been telling you about recently. Anyway, I have a friend. She got mad at me for being nice to her. Now, I know it seems hard to believe, but that was my only crime. We saw each other a few times and she didn’t want anything more. OK. Cool. I still want to be good to her, so I got her a couple flowers for Christmas. I thought I was being nice, right? Then she finds out that I went out with this other girl (and we all know how that ended), and she tells me about a week later that she left crying and she was so upset because I made her feel special and she thought she was the only one, even after she told me she didn’t want anything with me.
I give up, ladies. I tried being myself. I tried being nice. Hell, there was a span of like a month or two where I tried being an ass (comments to yourself please). Really, what are my options? I just lost a pretty good friend for being nicer to her than she wanted me to be. I realize this isn’t an everyday occurrence, but I want to play the odds. What do I do? I realize that it’s probably best to just be myself, but I’ve been trying to figure out who I am for like 7 years now. I have been so many different people and they’ve all been myself. So yeah, I thought to maybe do something cool for a few of you ladies out there for Valentines Day, but I thought better of it. I wouldn’t want to piss you off. And just think if I missed anybody? Oooohhhh! There’s a can of worms not worth opening. So I went to bed at 7:15. I assume that probably pissed somebody off too.
Sorry. I don’t mean to be so cynical, but it seems I’ve hit a good run of bad luck here. I’m sure by next year I’ll have it all figured out. Speaking of which, I was talking about the other girl I was “seeing” and yet never really paying attention to anything she said. Cause I’m an asshole. Or was I just being myself? Anyway, I was thinking of things to do for her for Valentines Day and Cespos came up with a good one…
“Maybe you should send her sister flowers.”
-Cespos de Bergerac
Or maybe I should just chop my nuts off myself.
Happy Valentines Day!
Still Standing Right Here…