Well, I just had my first funny laptop experience and I think you all will appreciate this. Unfortunately it isn’t about me being an idiot, but quite the opposite. It’s nice to have one of those stories once in a while.
So I was playing internet poker tonight. And this afternoon. And all yesterday. And it’s not really that I’m addicted to gambling so much that I’m addicted to winning and losing money. Anyway, I was about halfway into a tournament and had a decent chip stack when my internet cut out. I suppose that’s what I deserve for stealing my internet signal to begin with. And if you’re the kind of person who has a problem with that, replace the phrase “stealing my internet signal” to “get off your moral high horse and join the rest of the capitalist world, Mr. Holier-Than Thou.”
So yeah, my signal cut out and I had $5 on the line here. I tried reconnecting to a few other signals around the area with no luck. So I figured what the hell? I unplugged my computer, grabbed my keys and jumped in the jeep driving around town looking for an unprotected wireless signal. It didn’t take too long. And so I pulled over and parked and started playing again. Top off the jeep, sitting in my pajamas on the side of the road at about 1am on a Saturday night playing internet poker. No, I’m not addicted at all. These two girls walked by, obviously trashed, and I started to panic. For some reason, I thought I needed an excuse so they didn’t think I was weird (good luck). Nothing came to mind, so I just sat as still as possible and pretended they couldn’t see me. Like a tree. An invisible tree. In a car. With a computer screen illuminating my bark. I know they could and I know they did because they stopped talking and laughing when they walked by. And their heads turned. And then they proceeded to run. And I didn’t recognize them, but I’m sure they recognized my jeep because they probably lived on my block. So when I find out who they were, I’ll be sure to add them to the list of chicks I’ve completely lost my chances with. I’m going to need more paper.
So then I lost my stupid tournament. I’d like to blame the surroundings, but I lose a lot worse than that in the confines of my own frequently stolen frequency. I was talking to Bill last week about our internet situation and how even after Mark moved out from next door, we still had a signal that we could pick up, but I just wanted to make sure that borrowing someone else’s signal was ok with his ethics…
“The way I see it, it’s their fault for letting their radio waves go through our house.”
If you think about it, it would be rude not to let us use those signals that are pervading their way into my bedroom. Intrusive damn radio waves!
Tryin to break even,
Still Standing Right Here…