So did anybody else pretend to like soccer for a couple hours today? I actually went a step further and pretended to like the French. I don’t know why. Maybe because I like their fries. Yeah, that reminds me. Are we done calling them freedom fries now? That never really caught on like republicans had hoped it would. Probably because the French have more than just fries and that’s a lot of menu changes. Freedom Bread. Freedom Toast. Freedom Onion Soup. OK, this French guy just head butted an Italian guy in the chest. Not a shove or a punch or even a kick. That’s pretty damn funny, however unsportsmanlike it is. The French don’t even fight the right way. I guess we could have figured that out after WW2.
So it looks like one of those European teams won. It was Italy this year, but I’ll probably forget that by next week. They’re honestly all the same to me too. Maybe I should care a little bit more about global geography than that, but it’s not like they know the difference between our states anyway (and yes, I know that’s not equivalent). When I went to Scotland and told people I was from Philadelphia, almost without exception, they all referenced the Tom Hanks movie and called me a fag. It was the only time in my life I actually lied and said I was from New Jersey. It was just easier and they weren’t as willing to call me a fag. But some still did anyway. Don’t know how I got that reputation in Scotland, I swear.
…using my ignorance of global geography as a transition…
About a year ago, I was trying to talk about one of the UMBC intramural guys, but I didn’t know his name. I was like “you know, the Asian guy that plays basketball with Ozell and talks a lot…”
“You men Vlade? He’s Russian, not Asian!”
OK, what continent do you think Russia is in?
Back to pretending I like baseball until August.
Still Standing Right Here…