Damn the DNA

Damn the DNA

Thank you all for your support/criticism/laughter in my very immediate direction in response to my first real weekend off the DL. I’m afraid I’m going to have to write about something else today since there has been no movement forward or backward on the female front since Friday night. Which is usually a step backward. But who knows with women? Apparently no movement can sometimes be a step forward. Which, by the way, is just stupid. I hate these silly games. This is nothing like euchre or asshole or any card game that I’ve ever played. This is like a blind squirrel in a dark room looking for a broken clock that probably doesn’t exist. If you’re into that game, go ahead and have a go. I’m going to go sit under a tree and wait for my watch to break (don’t look too deeply into that – it doesn’t mean anything).

Speaking of breaking things, there’s this girl Claire at camp who I have more of a soft spot for than I probably should. She has shown over and over now that she’s one of the most ornery and misbehaved (bad) kids at camp. And I’m such a softie (pushover). I have lost complete control over these kids. Seriously. I show up to an event and they all get out of the nice line the counselors spent 10 minutes getting them in and run over and steal my keys and visor and sanity. And I can’t get them to give it back. They stopped listening to me sometime ago. I noticed it last week when we were out in a canoe floating towards an oncoming jet boat and the two girls refused to give me the paddle or try to veer from the oncoming vehicle’s course. So I know it’s my fault and I let it escalate this far, but the inevitable happened. At lunch today, Claire reached up to try to steal my glasses and broke them in half. And there was no expression of remorse. In fact, she laughed and ran away with the half she had taken. This girl is 10. Let’s go back to the gender thing again. No boy at camp would do this. What is up with that second X chromosome? I suppose it’s good to know that it’s a DNA thing and we, as a gender, never had a shot.

Anyway, back to Claire. This is the type of person she is. They have this little mini-sorority that is basically premised on not talking to me. I’m not kidding. They have a pact to not talk to me unless it’s to say something mean. Instead of talking about philanthropy at their meetings, they plot on ways to tip me out of a canoe and take the keys to my car and throw them down a sewer grate. So one day, Claire was asking one of the female counselors what male counselors she wanted to date. The female counselor thankfully did not involve herself in this conversation. Claire went on to express her opinion…

Quote of the Day 7/17/06

“Well I like Chris, then Ben, then Mike, then Geremy, then somebody, then somebody, then somebody, then somebody, then somebody, then Dustin.” -Unfair Claire

For the record, there are no other “somebodys.” Only 5 of us.

Living blurry for a week,

Glassless in Oxford.

Still Standing Right Here…

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