About a year ago, I was at our national conference for intramurals (a 4-day binge of networking, alcohol and exercise equipment) when I saw these stupid ass shoes. This guy in a relatively important position with khakis and a polo shirt on was wearing these rubber things on his feet that had holes all through them. Like Swiss shoes. You may now know what I’m describing are called “Crocs.” As my colleague Debi said back then, “They better be comfortable because they look ridiculous.” And she couldn’t have been more correct. I was amazed that these shoes were trying to be taken seriously by this man. We were not on the beach or trying to cross a creek or anything. Later on, I started to see them popping up every once in a while here at Miami. And Char gave me shit for wearing socks with sandals. I tried a pair of them on. As it turns out, they’re not all that comfortable. That’s just what people say to justify looking that ridiculous. Needless to say, I’m not a big fan of Crocs. Subconsciously, I think I actually lose respect for people that wear them. I know is a little over the top, but I am as God created me.

So I went down to Joe’s place on Christmas night after briefly playing pink-hat Santa Claus to a few friends in the PA area. Only, instead of being led around reindeer, I was driving around in a deer-killing machine. Just a little Christmas paradox for you. Anyway, I got down to Joe’s place and his brother was unwrapping this neat joystick that plugs into the TV and plays all the classic arcade games like Ms Pac-man and Pitfall. And it was wireless. This is an awesome idea for a gift. And I made that known apparently a little too well. Joe said he probably should have gotten me that thing. Instead he got me something that I probably wouldn’t like. When he said that, I just figured he was giving me the Corona lava lamp back. I was wrong. It was much worse. He got me a pair of very comfortable, holey rubber shoes. Apparently they come in neon orange too. Good for me. Have I heard of these? Oh, yeah Joe. I’ve heard of these. Do I like them? Sorry, I can’t even pretend I like them…

“Well, you don’t have to like them, you just have to accept them as a gift.”

– Good Joe

And that’s the theme of this year’s Christmas. I’m happy to see you’ve embraced it and managed to sum it up in one very apropos phrase.

Comfy in Crocs,

D Rec.

Still Standing Right Here…