The Dichotomy of Dustin

The Dichotomy of Dustin

Hey gang. Well, I bet you’re all wondering what the reason is for this most recent month-long retreat. Well, it’s because I enrolled myself in a creative writing class. Sounds counter-intuitive, don’t it? Well, I started out writing much the same way that I used to. You know the type: bitter, holier-than-thou and complainatory. Well, I’ve been handcuffing myself in recent QOTD history because I’ve been afraid of being judged for the shit I write. And in this case, “being judged” can easily be translated into “won’t get laid.” Well I’ve decided to let go of these inhibitions. It’s time that you all realize that this shit I write isn’t necessarily me. It’s this voice I’ve created. It largely resembles a character that I used to be mixed with one that I thought I was with a dash of one I’d like to become someday with a little chemical assistance. It’s part arrogant frat boy, part snobby intellectual, part pathetic and withdrawn introvert and part amphibious death cricket. It’s like the platypus of journalism. And since I started this class, it’s underwent a lot of changes. We actually sat down in class and dissected the entire “I hate fuckin Brick Street…” diatribe for 20 minutes. I learned some interesting things about my writing. That’s where I finally realized that I had these two voices in my pieces competing. Like the whole piece was written from the perspective of a guy who thought that Brick Street was for such losers, completely beneath him. But he wouldn’t mind taking home one of the chicks himself (no comment).

And there we have come up with the Dichotomy of Dustin. The jock of the dorks, the dork of the jocks. He loves to play full contact football, he loves to get drunk and shoot pool, and he loves to play Settlers of Catan until sunrise. He loathes the guys that go to bars to pick up women and he wants to be the guys that pick up women at bars. He is trying desperately to grow up and trying desperately not to grow up at the same time. He is a walking contradiction, but at least he’s walking (this material may be outdated by the time you read it).

So anyway, I’ve decided to let it all go. I’m exploring this character of mine. And I don’t know where it’s going to go from here. If he gets to be too much for you, well then all apologies. Maybe you should go back to your Northern Exposure marathon on Lifetime. But I will give the greater majority what I believe they’d rather have, which is what a democracy would do. I believe it’s also what a communist or totalitarian party would do, but I think I’m getting in over my head a little now. I don’t know how a three-man junta would do. Anyway, back to work. And just in time for my favorite holiday. J

So here I was asking the Wach-Man about why he thinks I haven’t been writing for the last month or so…

Quote of the Day 2/10/07

“Because you’ve been happy?”


Sadly, he is one of many many people who recognize that I’m much funnier when I’m unhappy. And so I will choose unhappiness for my adoring masses, those rotten fuckers.

Back on track,

Darkman Dustin.

Still Standing Right Here…

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