Professional Car School Advice

You know, I’ve finally figured out the secret to my car. It makes a lot of unnatural noises when you try to do certain things in it. Like accelerate. Well, the key to a smooth ride in my car, is to block out those sounds. I’ve found that turning the music up really loud helps a lot. And I’ve noticed that if you don’t look at the driver’s side mirror ever, you can hardly notice that it’s falling off. I’m trying to apply this skill to other areas in my life as well. I once read an article that said that taking an aspirin daily with a shot of bourbon reduces a person’s awareness of heart attacks. I wonder if this principle also works with dirty laundry. And student loans.

Well, thankfully, one of my best friend’s happens to be a Car major at GMI Institute (which in its written out form, is General Motor’s Institute Institute). So I tell him all the problems I’m having with the car and he says some words I don’t understand and I nod my head and go “ooooh, ok,” and then we play tennis. Well, he was in the car and asked me if that light was always on. Apparently, there’s this light on the car that says “Check Engine” that is just always on (I hope). I told him that it was always on, because I think it might be true, but mostly just because I didn’t want him to panic. I asked him if he knew what that meant or how to fix it…

Quote Of the Day 6/18/98

Joe: Oh, yeah. You want to know what would fix that?
Me: Yeah, what?
Joe: A piece of electric tape (as in to cover the little light).

He goes away to Car School to tell me that. His mother must be proud.

Testing the boundaries of child abuse,
Mr. Whistlehead.

Still Standing Right Here…

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