First of all, I would like to apologize for the last two messages being labeled improperly as 1/7/99 and 1/10/99. That was not a joke. It was a mistake. And I guess I’ll warn you now, but I’m taking the whole month of February off. I know a lot of my attempts at jokes are unfunny and just sound like obscure statements instead, but the previous statement is really just an intentionally non-funny factual truth. I’m not going to be doing any quotes of the day for the entire month of February. I have my reasons, and I’ll tell them to you for a price, but just sleep assured that at least I’m not taking off January or March or any month with 31 days. Just little old February. Even though it is a leap year. And don’t tell Jessie Jackson if it comes up. He’ll probably sue me for intentionally boycotting black history month. And it’s not because it’s Valentine’s Day month either. Even though I will manage to avoid having to come up with another bitter spite-filled rant about women or relationships. I’m running out, believe it or not. I haven’t been dicked over in a while. Tell you what guys. I’ll spend all February trying to get taken advantage of so I have more material for you, OK? Well that having been said, I would like to go back to the quote I sent out back toward Christmas about how I’m getting old because I got a blender and a humidifier for Christmas. Well, I jokingly asked for jumper cables and a 2 pint sauce pan for my birthday. Good Joe got me jumper cables, an ice scraper, a headlight (which makes two I have in boxes, unable to put them in because I still don’t have a star ratchet), and a ratchet set including a star ratchet with which to install said headlight and its older brother (good thinking on his part), and it was the best gift I got this year. So I’m old. Or mature. Or probably just grown up, which is somewhere in between. But not really. I still shower with my bathing suit on.
Anyway, I was driving along with said Joe and all of a sudden I looked down at my gas gauge and it was on E. I could have sworn I had just filled it up. Well, I was a bit surprised…
Quote Of the Day 1/11/00
Me: “Ah! When the hell did that happen?!?”
Me: “I’m outta gas.”
Joe: “I’m guessing gradually over the last 250 miles.”
I will admit, he has a strong argument.
Faking it all,
Still Standing Right Here…