Quote of the Way Back in the Day

Hey there folks. For those of you that don’t know, I’ll be at my parent’s place all weekend in PA. This computer doesn’t have a Pentium and seems to be experiencing some y2k problems. Every time I try to sdkjj udus dgu dsshiopi sdiubsiduh;i; sdubiab [[hdfa;ug a[

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Subject: quote of the day 1/6/1900

Greeting, plebeians. Well, this new century brings with it much promise for the future. In a lightning quick 3 hour long address, President McKinley announced that coal is going to be the wave of the future. At approximately 12:00 noon, he cut the ribbon of the new Rockefeller Plantation and two gigantic smokestacks simultaneously let huge clouds of beautiful black smoke into the air. Shortly afterward, the 300 16-yr-old Rockefeller employees were ordered to get back to work. Also, I have just found out through the Trans-Atlantic Cable that the dawn of the new century has not stopped the kindly British from teaching the ways of Christ to African savages. Nothing can stop those guys. Except maybe the race of titan-like creatures they just discovered were living in the wild west. It’s not a good week to be a buffalo fan. On a slightly more embarrassing note, I was out with a girl the other night and one thing led to another, and… well, to be honest, I couldn’t figure out how to get her corset off. It was a rather complicated strap in the back. It had like two little hooks going one way and a third, bigger hook… well, it’s not important.

Now what the hell is going on in the art world today? One century, Van Gogh is painting a beautiful version of the night sky, and the next century, this guy named Picasso decides the human form is not correct the way God intended it, and puts both our eyes on the same side of our face with a nose sticking out into nowhere. I guess the guy must have a plan of some sort. Or maybe he was just doing a portrait of somebody really ugly, and decided he needed to pretend to invent a new way of painting so he wouldn’t get shot. That’s probably what happened. And what’s the big deal with this “Scream” painting? It sucks. It’s a ghost in front of a bunch of spilled paint. I was tempted to just rip that right off the wall and take it home with me.

My witty grandpa from New York paid us a visit today, and just as he always is, he was right on top of his wits as soon as he got into the house. Before he even said hi, he uttered a classic line…

Quote Of the Day 1/6/1900

“I just rode (rowed) here all the way from New York, and boy are my arms tired!”

Get it? Like rowing? What a card.

Progress at all costs,
Dustin Glenson.

I Can’t Stand It..

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