Duck Pin Pedagogue

Well, I already fucked up the year on the date of one of my checks. I tried to write January 3, 2000, and it came out January 3, {undefined}. That was weird. Apparently, my wrist is not y2k compliant. At any rate, I started teaching bowling Monday. What a tough job, let me tell you. The first day, we went over how to keep score and how to get there. Nobody asked me any questions about fatty amino acids that I didn’t know the answers to, and a couple of the guys had a beer or two during the 3 hour bowling outing. Now this is my kind of class! Next class we’re going to discuss lane courtesy and what to do when you spill your drink at the console. The kids can’t wait.

If you don’t know me that well, you probably don’t know that I’ve started instituting a time out policy in actual life. (You get 2 a day, by the way.) I thought the concept of getting time outs should extend passed just the sports world. Often times I find myself in a conversation that begins innocently enough but gradually degenerates toward something I don’t really want to hear about. Rosanne Barr and nakedness comes directly to mind. Anyway, I had to tell Mike, Kevin and Joe about this time out policy that I had already founded back in MD, because I called a time out and they gave me that “we’re not the correct crowd for that particular inside joke” look, which I had grown accustomed to seeing because of them, as opposed to seeing it from them. They laughed, dismissed it, and shortly afterward, we started up a harmless enough conversation. Then I make one little anal sex joke and Mike glares at me rather harmfully…

Quote Of the Day 1/3/00

“How many personal fouls do you get?”
-Heterosexual Mike

I had to waste a time out there.

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