Merry ______ and Happy Non-stick Tape

Well, Merry Merry (fill in appropriate holiday) to all of you out there. I hope your (appropriate holiday) was just as (fun/God-worshipping/ I didn’t drop a piece of ham on my blouse again (circle one)) as mine. I trust your family was just as (excited to see you/fun to be around/thank God Uncle Louie didn’t show up drunk again) as mine and that they got you (exactly everything you wanted/more stupid socks/the same CD they got you last year). I really enjoyed seeing my family, but I think my favorite part of my break was seeing friends that (I haven’t seen since high school/I never liked in the first place/aren’t getting as good grades or as much money as me/all of the above). At any rate, I need to go now, but I hope you had a happy (appropriate holiday) and I hope that y2k doesn’t (crash your PC/shut off your water supply/stop the rotational inertia of
the earth).

Also, I think I’m officially old. You can dress it up with fancy words like “maturing,” but I’m old, one way or another. I used to ask for toys for Christmas way back in the day. Eventually, I outgrew toys and just wanted the money to figure out something to get on my own free will. I’d wager to say that most of that money went toward film and food. Then I graduated from the money and I wanted clothes. Something to look good in that didn’t require my inept sense of fashion to pick out. Also, if I had enough clothes to wear, I couldn’t really justify to myself to buy clothes, so I needed Christmas to supply me for the entire year. Now I’ve gone passed even stuff as boring as clothes to ask for miniature appliances. I asked for stuff like a humidifier and blender. My ‘rents supplied me with the humidifier. So now I’ll be able to breathe again at night. Sometimes you just gotta sacrifice excitement for practicality.

My sister got a blow torch. I’m not kidding.

I was helping my sister wrap presents on Christmas Eve and I happened to glance at her roll of masking tape. It was seriously discolored from the normal yellowness of it. It looked like it had been there from back when I lived there 8 years ago. I looked at her like she was crazy for planning on wrapping anything using that stuff and commented on how old that stuff looked…

Quote Of the Day 12/25/99

“I don’t think it’s that old, I just think it’s a special kind of masking tape. Like the kind that isn’t supposed to stick to anything.”
-Char (Littlesisaclaus)

I think they make that already. They call it paper.

Ho-Ho and Ding-Dong,
Coachaclaus.

Still Standing Right Here…

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