Catshark

You know with all this hype about Y2K approaching, we overlooked another historic date. 11/19/1999. This was the last all odd date of our lifetime. And I don’t know of anyone who celebrated it. I’ll bet you all wish you had that day back. But in happier news, the first all even date of our lifetime is coming up shortly (2/2/2000). So I want to see some celebrating, no matter what Puxatawny Phil predicts about the following 6 weeks. And another thing, I guess I should bring it up now to prepare you for it, but do you all realize that the “new millennium” doesn’t start until Jan 1, 2001? We’re not there yet. We still have another year to go. And I’ve heard no one publicly address this issue. Of course, I don’t really watch too much news outside of Sportscenter. But anyway, I can’t imagine that the entirety of the advertising world has overlooked this, so I have another theory. I think they are all preying upon our stupidity as a general mass of plebeians for their own positive gain. And then, when the year 2000 actually hits, they’re all gonna jump out and go “Just kidding!” And then they’re going to run the same campaign as “the [whatever product] of the actual new millennium.” And they are going to say, hey remember how much fun you had last year when you thought it was the end of a millennium and the beginning of a new one? Well, we can all do it again next year! And plebeians love to party, so they’ll probably all just overlook the facts if they really do know them, and party like it’s 1999 twice. Sounds great in theory, but I’m smarter than that. I’m only partying like its 1999 once. And that’s going to be next year. I’ll show them.

We don’t have a cat anymore. We have a shark. You can sometimes just see a tail walking behind the coffee table, and then it disappears. You look around for 20 seconds. Nothing. Then when you aren’t paying attention anymore, this jaw lunges at you and doesn’t let go. It attacks teeth first. In fact, that’s how it greats people nowadays. And it loves tuna. And it has a fin. One day, I came back from work and the cat was in what I call “piranha mode” where it just runs around the apartment for no reason with no purpose for 45 minutes at a time. I tried to pet it and almost bid my right hand goodbye. I asked Jason what was up and he said that she was pissed at him. I then inquired as to what he did that would piss off a cat…

Quote Of the Day 12/2/99

“She’s mad because I wouldn’t let her watch me shower.”
-Flynndows 2000.

I hear Russ’ sister is the same way.

The coach of the new millenium,
Extendinator MM.

Still Standing Right Here…

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