Busted Headlights and Backup Middle Hitters

Well, everybody on 175 and 95 the past few weeks have been playing padiddle with my car. For about 3 weeks, I’ve been driving with only one headlight (but with Three Marlenas). And I’m pretty sure it pointed straight down. And it was on the left side of the car, so if I wanted to read any sort of sign at all, I had to blind whoever happened to be in front of me with my brights. But now that problem is over. The other headlight went out. What the hell is that? What are the odds of both headlights going out less than 4 weeks apart from each other? Then I started to think about it. I’m just gonna guess that they were both put in at about the same time. And they were probably both the same kind and when one is on, the other is always on too. So I guess the answer to the question is pretty high. So now I have to drive with my brights on all the time. I imagine that gets really annoying to people. But the problem is that people coming at me can easily flash their brights or honk their horn or express their discontent in other ways. But people in front of me just have to keep driving along while being blinded by my lights, wrapped up like a deuce, another roamer in the night. Or they could slam on the breaks and let me rear end them. But it’s either that, or drive without lights, which is probably much more dangerous. But they don’t know that. So they just think I’m a dick. Oh well. I just hope these lights weren’t put in at the same time as the regular headlights.

To continue my New Jersey cop story, the cop eventually let me off after frisking my middle hitter, as I already told you about. Lauren was jealous that they didn’t frisk her. I guess he’s just not into that. Anyway, he saw that I was lost and helped me by leading me back to the hotel along the back roads, which would have taken me hours and at least 5 more illegal turns, I’m sure. And I realized that he hadn’t yet seen that I didn’t have one of my headlights. So I turned on my brights, hoping he wouldn’t know that they were my brights and knowing he didn’t know I only had one headlight. Well, after I got back to the hotel safely, he turned around, rolled his window down, and said on the way out “Don’t drive with your brights on son, and get that headlight fixed as soon as possible.” Damn he’s good. So anyway, I was telling this story to Geoff and Stryker and they wanted to know which “middle hitter” the guy frisked. I told them it was Andy, and they got this look on their face that I could tell was the equivalent of “who dat?” So I told Stryker it was actually my back-up middle hitter…

Quote Of the Day 11/29/99

“What is that? A strap-on?”
-Strike Force

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call a back slide or a 2-ball without laughing.

Sticking to bowling,
Coach.

Still Standing Right Here…

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