The Magic Shower

I’ve just recently come to realize that I plan my sleep schedule and my entire day around a magic shower. I’ll hit the snooze alarm a few extra times knowing that I can just hop in my magic shower and everything will be OK. In this magic shower, not only do I become clean and closely shaven, but I magically wake up entirely, completely independent of how much sleep I had gotten the night before. Sometimes I even lose that morning hunger feeling like I had just eaten a French Slam at Denny’s with their one-of-a-kind hash browns. And the greatest thing about this shower is that it only takes 3-4 minutes. And that includes undressing, dressing, shaving, aftershaving, the walk to my car, and sometimes even another small nap. Occasionally, this magic shower will actually transport me back in time if I had hit the snooze alarm for an extra hour or two prior to the shower. So this is what I expect out of my morning shower when I decide what time to set my alarm for and how many times I can afford to hit the snooze button. Needless to say, I’m late a lot.

I’ll spare the context that surrounded this quote because it would be too difficult to convey over e-mail, or in any other media for that matter. But let it be known that Tony said something that was misheard as something to the effect of him showering with Gary, my boss…

Quote Of the Day 10/18/99

Me: “You showered with my boss?!?!?”
Tony: “Well… I was dirty.”

I hope Proznik can learn from this example.

Dirty, hungry, tired, and late,
Shower Boy.

Still Standing Right Here…

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