Well, I didn’t feel that ramming my car into a curb was enough of a way to celebrate getting my car registered. What would better complete the carwarming ceremonies but a $135 speeding ticket and 2 points on my license? So anyway, I got that. And it was the first time I was actually pulled over in the daytime. It was completely different, I wasn’t nervous at all. And that’s probably one of many reasons I will get into later that aided the ease in which he gave me the ticket. So anyway, it was daytime and first of all, much easier to see the shoulder I needed to pull onto so he could come up to my car and be mean. He didn’t have a partner, a flashlight, gun, or even a uniform. This guy in an unmarked car had followed me and clocked me at 76.7 (don’t ask me how he got that accurate without radar) and put on a little blue light in his car to get my attention. Then when I pulled over, he hopped out wearing a New York Yankees cap and a red plaid shirt. Not what I’m used to. So anyway, I wasn’t nervous at all. The fact that my car was now legal probably helped too. He asked for my license and registration and I was proud to give it to him. “Just got it last week, officer.”
Now here are a few things you should never say when you get pulled over by a cop that I actually said, dumbass that I am. He asked when the last time my speedometer was calibrated and I told him that I didn’t know, but when the last cop pulled me over, he informed me that it was likely improperly calibrated. Then he asked if that cop gave me a ticket, and I said no, he gave me a warning. I couldn’t have thought of two worse answers if I tried. Damn the truth! So anyway, I’m gonna fight it, and I’m gonna win, but it’s gonna take a chunk out of my day sometime in the not-too-immediate future. And I didn’t say it this time, but once when a cop pulled me over, he asked me if I knew how fast I was going and I actually said “Well, that depends on how long you were following me.”
Probably another bad idea.
Quote Of the Day 10/11/99
Me: “Hey Augy. How you doing?”
Augy: “Any better and I couldn’t stand it.”
Fuckin A, man.
Still Standing Right Here…