Rating Colors of the Rainbow

Well, I’ve decided to do something neat this week. Every Friday, I do a movie review. That’s generally where I feel most comfortable, because I can always think of a movie I’ve seen and critique it. I’m never going to have a shortage of subject material, whereas trying to think up something I did in the course of a day and trying to force it to be funny can be difficult 5 times a week. Or even 4 times every other week. My life really isn’t that exciting. Sorry. So I got it in my head that I didn’t have to stop at just movies. I could critique anything I wanted to. You may have heard of the Brunching Shuttlecocks, an internet comedy group (www.brunching.com ), doing this kind of thing. So I’m going to try my hardest not to step on their toes with my subject material, and still critique something different all this week. Well, wish me luck…

Colors of the Rainbow

Red – Great color to start with. It’s light hearted (with the exception of the fact that it’s occasionally associated with blood) and it’s a lot of people’s favorite color. And everyone knows red. It’s a good,¬†wholesome family color. A

Orange – I never much cared for orange. But then again, I wore a pink hat for over 8 years. And I might not know the strict rules of not wearing plaid with stripes, or matching belt to socks, or whatever it is, but I do know a little about hue, and orange and neon pink would have been a gang war waiting to break out of my wardrobe. C-

Green – Green is cool. Very earthy. A girl in a McDonalds drive-thru told me that she thought my green hat matched my eyes. So now green is my favorite color and I wear that hat all over the place. And green was also the “G” in “Roy G. Biv.” I used to give Roy cool middle names like Galloway, Gaztak, or Goo. Green is also the perfect segue from yellow to blue, as the ziplock corporation taught us years ago. A

Indigo and Violet – Maybe it’s because I was raised in a poor household, but these two colors were both called “purple” when I was being brought up. And there was no difference between them. And I might be dating myself here, but my childhood predates the great Crayola expansion colors. When I was in kindergarten, the popular kid was the kid with the 32 set with a plastic cone they tried to pass of as a “crayon sharpener” in the back. Burnt Sienna and Salmon gave me a double take back in the day. Now they have crap like Jungleberry Groove and Espresso Mochata. They’ve probably shot straight past indigo and violet to Mercury Subterfuge. I still don’t know the difference. I think they should have both been categorized as purple. Of course, that would give Roy a last name with no vowels in it. But who needs a voweled last name with a middle name like Gondwanaland? C+

I was playing fake poker for imaginary money with my distant relatives this past weekend. My second cousin once removed Earl is quite a witty character. As the entire table was “betting,” he was paging through the deck of cards very obviously. My first cousin twice removed (his aunt) yelled at him…

Quote Of the Day 9/13/99

Joyce: “Hey! Are you cheating over there?!?”
Earl: “No. I’m just looking for a better card.”

I think Earl plays different than most people.

Leading the great purple revival,
Dustin Gaztak Fisher.

Still Standing Right Here…

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