Yes! Finally! We (I and whoever the hell else I forced to read this) made it through this Godforsaken tournament. Well, almost. The field has been whittled down to the Final Four. Three 10+ bug movies and a “Who did you sleep with to get here” 7-bugger from the DC Quadrant. And then after this, I can go back to updating my website with news about my pregnant wife, storytelling hijinks and bad sports metaphors.
But first, a few observances about the DC Quadrant:
7-bug Finalist: There were some higher-rated movies in this thing. At least 4 of them at an 8.5 or above. But they all found themselves duking it out on the bottom half of the bracket. Monster (9) squeaked out one over Crazy, Stupid, Love. (8.5) to barely get beaten by Sherlock Holmes 2 (9), who eventually lost to Midnight in Paris (8.5). By the time they were done beating on each other, they must have been too tired to compete with Super 8 (7).
Oscar Nominees: This is the time of the year I typically look to watch the Oscar Best Picture nominees. I saw three of them before the tournament was over, and though one of them made it to the finals of the DC Quadrant (Midnight in Paris), the other two were embarrassingly horrible (Tree of Life and Hugo). This does not bode well for the rest of the field.
Biggest Upset Ever: A 0-bug movie beat a 5-bug movie. That’s ridiculous. A lot of the points were given to Tree of Life just by default, but if I was Limitless, I may adjust my game plan for the next tournament.
And that’s it for now. Stay tuned for the Final Four and the conclusion of the biggest waste of my time in the last 9 months (purely a coincidence).
Double Feature Duel: Super 8 vs. Midnight in Paris
A movie by the creators of Lost against a guy who married a chick 35 years younger than him for thelast spot in the Final Four. I’m not sure who I’m rooting for.
Title: Super 8 once again for alluding to a time period while cleverly foreshadowing at least two scenes in this movie. All in 6 characters. (Point, Super 1-0)
Funnier: Midnight in Paris certainly has its funny moments, but I’ll go with the dialogue the kids have with each other over the more difficult-to-interpret Woody Allen-isms. (Point, Super 2-0)
Better Turn: The more I think about it, the more ridiculous that train scene was. But it was still just as awesome. (Point, Super 3-0)
Better Ending: By default and by design. (Point, Midnight 3-1)
Better Message: I really like that Midnight in Paris actually had a message, let alone a good one. One of Woody’s deathbed confessions of sorts. (Point, Midnight 3-2)
Better Acting: Sorry, Owen. I will pick Elle Fanning over you every time. Even in The Nines, when she doesn’t talk. (Point, Super 4-2)
More Creative: I like that we’re never really sure if Owen Wilson is dreaming all this or if it’s really happening. (Point, Midnight 4-3)
Poster: And you kinda knew Super 8 had this category in its back pocket. And it looks like it needed it. (Point, Super 5-3)
Watch again: This is a bit of an unfair question because I watched Super 8 twice in the span of 2 nights. Fortunately it doesn’t matter. (Point, Midnight 5-4)
Overall: And we have our first non 10-bug movie in the Final Four. Which makes sense since there weren’t any in this bracket. And so you know what an accomplishment this is, it’s like the 6 seed making it to the Final Four. In case any of you care. Winner: Super 8 (5-4)
Double Feature Duel (Rd3): Midnight in Paris vs. Sherlock Holmes 2
Not since the first scored matchup has there been a Sweet 16 matchup with as high a combined Bug Score (17.5). For whatever that’s worth.
Title: I’m sticking with my rule of 5. SH2:AGOS is a marquee changers nightmare. (Point, Midnight 1-0)
Funnier: Whoa! Tough one. The ridiculousness of Adrian Brody playing Dali is one type of humor, but Robert Downey Jr is another. Actually, this isn’t a tough one. Sorry for misleading you. (Point, Sherlock 1-1)
Better Turn: I didn’t see it coming. Which is good enough for a point in a game that doesn’t matter. (Point, Midnight 2-1)
Better Ending: This really is a tough one for real. Well, no it’s not. (Point, Sherlock 2-2)
Better Message: In lieu of the better ending, I’ll wrap it up in the better message category. Because it deserves some recognition in this game that doesn’t matter. (Point, Midnight 3-2)
Better Acting: Rachel McAdams cancels herself out. Taking the lowest common denominator, that pits Jude Law and Downey Jr. against Owen Wilson and a bunch of kinda famous other people. Tiebreaker: Owen Wilson. And not in a good way. (Point, Sherlock 3-3)
More Creative: It’s getting tight! And though I’d give SH2 the “fun” award, I’ll have to go to Woody Allen for the Creativity category. (Point, Midnight 4-3)
Poster: Sherlock just doesn’t have a lot going for it. It was a good run. You’d have probably beat Super 8. (Point, Midnight 5-3)
Watch again: I’ll throw Sherlock a garbage point just out of respect. (Point, Sherlock 5-4)
Overall: Well, you weren’t able to take home any Oscars, but you made it to the Elite 8 in a game that doesn’t matter. How does that make you feel? Winner: Midnight in Paris (5-4)
Double Feature Duel (Rd3): Super 8 vs. It’s a Wonderful Life
A movie without an ending vs. a movie with only an ending. Could go either way.
Title: Trying to compare movie titles with a movie icon is a recipe for failure. But Super 8 has just the proper amount of spices to overcome that taste. (Point, Super 1-0)
Funnier: It’s a Wonderful Life surprisingly still had a few parts funny by today’s standards. But mostly, it didn’t. (Point, Super 2-0)
Better Turn: I do appreciate the stock market crash and the cancelled honeymoon, but the Final Destination-type train crash scene was borderline epic. (Point, Super 3-0)
Better Ending: No contest. (Point, Wonderful 3-1)
Better Message: Another no contest. (Point, Wonderful 3-2)
Better Acting: I think I like Elle Fanning more than I should. (Point, Super 4-2)
More Creative: Super 8 was super creative, but it shot itself in the foot with the alien reveal. It’s a Wonderful Life is so wedged into the culture that it’s hard to see as creative anymore. But it still holds up after 65 years and that’s got to count for something. (Point, Wonderful 4-3)
Poster: Again, I can’t say enough about the Super 8 poster. Brilliance. (Point, Super 5-3)
Watch again: Not that it needed this point, but I’m itching to watch Super 8 again. At least the first 75% of it. (Point, Super 6-3)
Overall: The battle of the 7s goes to the one that was supposed to have taken place 40 years ago, and yet that’s still 40 years more recently than the one it beat. Or something like that. Winner: Super 8 (6-3)