First and Lasting Impressions

First and Lasting Impressions
OK. Honeymoon’s over. Back to work.

Sorry it’s been so damn long, but these past few months have been so surreal. Did I really leave UMBC? The school I’ve made my home for the past 12 years? The town in which I’ve become a very local celebrity? I thought I’d never leave. Neither did anybody else. And I got a job at Miami. But wait. It’s in Ohio. What? And in a place called Oxford. This has got to be made up. Well, OK. Better get movin while I’m still young.

And so I got here. And it was even more surreal. It was like Fantasy Island here. The chicks are amazingly hot. It’s apparently one of the things the school is known for. And it’s 92% white here, a far cry from UMBC’s 45/45/10. The convocation parade looked like the Girls Gone Wild tryouts. Does this place really exist or did I make all this up in my twisted mind? Is there such a place where pepsi and coke can live together in the same vending machine? Did my new roommate and I really just crash a wedding the first day we met? Are those clocks really melting over those trees? Did Mike really move out here too? No way. I must have made this up in some 1/3 life crisis Fight Club Tyler Durden induced panic attack. I’m going to wake up someday soon back in my corner at UMBC with a huge headache and what’s left of Casa De Sol telling me I’m a crappy soccer ref. But until then, it’s party time here on Fantasy Island. And you’re all invited. And remember to bring your swimsuit. I’ll take care of the booze.

I think all of you know this, but my father passed away less than a month after I moved to Ohio on August 21st from lung cancer. I want to thank all of you once again who took the time to send cards, flowers and to those of you who drove up or flew in for his Memorial Service. It was quite a show of support and valued friendship. Shortly after the service, I was talking with Fred about my dad and he mentioned how most tribes of Native Americans believe in two deaths. There is the death of the body and the death of the spirit. The death of the spirit occurs when the stories cease to be told about him or her. And so I’ve decided to exploit the forum I’ve already created to keep my father’s spirit alive.
My dad was already diagnosed with terminal cancer and the doctors wanted to figure out what kind it was by performing a biopsy. While on the operating table, the doctor told my dad that there was a 15% chance they wouldn’t get anything and they’d need to do it again, a 10% chance they would hit a blood vessel and he’d cough up blood for no more than a day or two, and a 20% chance they would puncture his lung and need to shove a tube down there and keep him overnight…

Quote of the Day 11/14/05
“Wait doc. Did you say a 20% chance? That’s only one more than getting an outside straight and I catch those all the time.”
-My dad

Even in his 11th hour, he managed to keep a sense of humor about him to share with everyone around him. Think about that next time you get angry or upset about anything for whatever reason. I hope that all of you know someone like him sometime in your life and I hope you’ll all help keep his spirit alive and the spirits of others that you know.

Leaving the Nest

Leaving the Nest

Hey y’all. First of all, there are more than just my usuals onthis list, so I’m sorry if you’re getting this and you have no idea why,but stick it out and I promise you’ll appreciate it. Maybe. And to myfaithfuls, I’m sorry I haven’t been as faithful, but I’ve been busy with alot of shit which will become clear in just a sec.

I’m gonna skip past a lot of the “what I’ve been doing, what body part I’ve hurt, and what I did to screw up a date recently” part of this catch-you-up-with-Dustin message cause I have pretty big news for the few of you that haven’t heard yet. TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT UMBC EVER. Well, maybe not ever, but I have indefinately taken a job in Ohio at Miami University. Yes, I said Ohio. Not the sunny, chicks in bikinis, beach volleyball all day Miami that Will Smiff raps about. The cold and snowy,tractor pulls during the day, Dairy Queen and SuperWalmart at night Ohio version that not even country artists have heard of. This whole turning 30thing really fucked me up. But it’s a good job and the school has like afootball team and stuff. Leaving all my friends and family and thecomforts of civilization to go run equestrian and clay shooting tournaments (I’m not kidding) just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I’m sure I’ll be fine out there. Actually, I’m about 65% sure thatI’ll be bored to tears out in Middle America and come screaming back tothe Eastern Seaboard after about a year. We’ll find out soon enough.

So write me please. But not necessarily here, because they areactually stripping away my umbc e-mail address after 12 years. Thebastards! It may actually work for a few months, but they will definitelybe obliterating it by mid-August. Once somebody teaches me how to downloadall my messages and addresses to outlook, I’ll be using my yahoo accountexclusively. Until August. So here’s where to write Dustin RecSports untilfurther notice:

mrwhistlehead@yahoo.com.

Soon enough, I’ll be able to write you back. But the damn tech heads atUMBC couldn’t talk to me like the idiot I am, spewing out terms like popsand imaps and crap. So I need a tech to idiot translator also, if any ofyou want to try to do that. I have off work until August, so wheneveryou’re free is probably good.

Also, they are definitely taking my phone away. I will be gettinga new phone and new phone number possibly tomorrow, but everything iskinda up in the air. I think I might be able to salvage my addressbook soI can still call all of you, but that doesn’t help much with incomingphone calls, I know. I also think I can check my messages from a remotephone, but who the freak knows? I’ll let you all know if I get a new phonenumber.

But more pressing than all this is the fact that I will be havinga “IT’S MY LAST DAY EVER AT UMBC” PARTY AT HOWL AT THE MOON TONIGHT!!! Friday night, ladies and gents at around 8pm, I plan on getting to Howl and I plan on closing the place. And if as many people come as said theywere going to, we may have to rent the place out. Bring friends. Telleverybody you ever knew. Especially the female everybodys (I’m lookin out,Tom). It’s the ending of an era and the turning of a page. Later on this summer before I leave for good, we’ll trash Joe’s house in my honor, butcome out tomorrow just in case you can’t make it next time. And buy me adrink cause I’m unemployed for the next 7 weeks.

Before I leave, some parting words from my soon-to-be former bosswhen I had first started wearing glasses…

Quote of the Day 6/10/05

“Those glasses make you look older. I don’t know about smarter,but they definately make you look older.”

-Boss X.

Gee, I hope I can get as much positive reinforcement in Ohio.Come to Howl!

The ending of an era and the turning of a page,

Dustin, RecSports.

Still Standing Right Here…

Howlin at the Moon

Howlin at the Moon

Hey everybody. You can probably tell by the subject headline that this isn’t a quote of the day. Then what the hell is it? Well, I’m inviting everybody on here to come to hang with me, Barnes, Sev, Dan, Tom, Keith, Tony, Wad, Evil Joe, Giese, and probably about 20-30 other people at Howl At the Moon this Friday night. I don’t know when I’m getting there, but I’ll be there probably until close or at least until Russ gets us kicked out or arrested again. It’s kinda in celebration of my birthday which you probably all know happened a couple months ago. This is how I roll, I hope you all don’t mind. Anyway, I’ll probably get to Howl at the Moon (in Power Plant Live in Baltimore) between 8-9. I think if you get there before 8, there’s no cover. After 8, I think it’s like $7. I know there are a ton of people on this list I haven’t seen in like 10 years. In fact, I just went through the list and I’m pretty sure half of these people don’t check their e-mail anymore. Mike, you know you have 6 ex-girlfriends on this list?

Sorry, got off track. Howl At the Moon this Friday 2/25. If you don’t come, you won’t be there and it will be your fault. Tell other people like James and Fred. And maybe we can add a few ladies to this list, I mean DAMN! Now I’m depressed. You all need to buy me a beer. Do it Friday. Cool.

Dustin.

410-591-6265

My Personal Analog Assistant

My Personal Analog Assistant

I know you were all wondering, so I’ll just confirm! your belief. Yes, I did indeed fall off the face of the earth. I am actually as we speak orbiting around the atmosphere, but thanks to Vice Admiral Hyman Rickover and our excellent space program, I am able to send you all this wireless e-mail from my PDA. Actually, I don’t have a PDA. In fact, I was running the beach volleyball tournament last year and as a joke, I got a pencil and went to record the score of a game on my yellow lined legal notebook and said to myself, “Well, let me just record this in my
P.D.A…”

Quote of the Day 3/16/05

“Don’t you mean your P.A.D.?”
-Justin Costa

Didn’t see that one coming. Nice work, bro.

Making faces at Sputnik,
Rocket Man.

Still Standing Right Here…

Seeing Gray

Seeing Gray


OK. I figure a week is long enough for you to read that whining dissertation on the problems with cars and women and tendons. And thanks to everybody who responded. I’m sure more people plan to when they actually finish it sometime later this year. It took me ten years to write. Take your freakin time. Now I’m gonna whine a little bit about getting old. I went out Monday night and as I was getting ready, I noticed a gray hair on the right side of my head by my ear. This is bad. Not horrible, but pretty bad. Because my hair is long now, so the gray hairs are like weeds now. And I was going to a friend’s 21st birthday celebration, so I didn’t want to be mistaken for her father or any shit like that. Anyway, I spent about 15-20 minutes in front of the mirror weeding my head for the grays, or any suspicious-looking characters. I’m sure I pulled out at least 5 hairs that the light may have just hit wrong at the time, but those are just the casualties of war. They knew they were at risk on the front line. Now I know this admission is not very flattering to my image, especially as it pertains to dating right now, but I am OK telling you all of this. And here’s why. I know I have no chance with anyone on this list anymore. Niki has pointed out to me that anyone who gets involved with me runs the risk of being exploited as Psycho Chick 3.0 in front of all of my and her peers. And frankly, I’m not worth the risk of public humiliation. Thankfully, this is something I’ve come to terms with. I had no idea this list of mine would backfire this badly. Well, at least now I know it isn’t my bad aftershave or horrible posture that is driving the women away. So anyway, I’ve given up on the women on this list. And I trust the rest of you will maintain my anonanimity if this is an issue you wish to share with your friends. Which it really shouldn’t be, beacuse this isn’t really one of my better ones. But it’s late and I’m tired and I already typed most of it, so you’re gonna have to bite the bullet on this one folks. Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, I was scouring my head for unwanted death. Well, it reminded me of the first time I put contacts in last year. I forced those torturous things into my eyes and I was sitting about 4 inches from a mirror when I finally got the sucker into my eyeball…

Quote of the Day 3/10/05


Me: “When I finally got my contacts in, the first thing I noticed was that I had gray hair.”
Geoff: “Come on Dustin, your vision wasn’t that bad before.”

He always knows just what to say.

Back to the ole slave and grind,
D Rec.

Still Standing Right Here…