Basketball and the Irish

Basketball and the Irish

It’s that time of year again. The time of the year in which I donate money to people who watch more college basketball than I do. I don’t know why I do this every year. I’m usually statistically eliminated by the end of the second round. Well, this year was no exception. There were 16 games on the first day. I’m not going to tell you all how many I got right, but let’s say that I would have done better if I had just gone with all the higher seeds. Or all the lower seeds. Or all the teams that came first in alphabetical order. Or all their opponents. And I’m not kidding. So I’m considering it a donation. I’m going to try to deduct it from my taxes next year.

Last week was St. Patrick’s Day, a day where everybody pretends they are a little bit Irish so they can all justify drinking more than usual. What a holiday. I’ll bet no more than 10 of you actually know who St. Patrick is or what he did, or why he’s associated with binge drinking. But who am I to spoil the fun? So Tony was on his way out to “celebrate” this holiday last year when I asked him if he was even Irish…

Quote Of the Day 3/25/02

“I’m 1/365th Irish.”

-Tony “MacKinnin” Harris

His family tree looks more like an afro.

No I don’t know what that meant,

Darin O’Fisher

Still Standing Right Here…

The Tell-Tale Boxers

The Tell-Tale Boxers

So there’s this guy named Jason Woody who happens to be an RA in the less new dorm, named Erickson. As opposed to the new new dorm called New Dorm. I’m not kidding. For those of you who don’t know, there have been two new dorms built in the past three years. They basically sold out their idea of having a body of water theme and named the less recent one after the guy who put up the money. Kinda like PSINet Stadium and 3Com Park, etc. So this new new dorm is already built and people are living in it and everything, and it still doesn’t have a name. I think they were waiting for somebody to put up money so they could name the thing, but it’s already built. So they don’t need money to build it anymore. So they just want somebody to give them money now so they have money, and in return, they will put that person’s name up on the New Dorm. That reaches a possible new height in selling out, unmatched by even the Stone Temple Pilots. So until somebody pays a lot of money, all envelopes going there will be addressed to “New Dorm.” I hope they have a sign up there that says New Dorm, because I think that would exemplify how pathetic UMBC really is.

Anyway, I got a little off track. Jason is an RA. And he plays all the intramural events we have. And he ran track as a walk-on for a couple weeks during his sophomore year. There are a few other similarities, but he has often been referred to as being me when I was his age. Stunning good looks and gay pink hat aside. So anyway, we were playing that Settlers game that I told you about (that is like a combination of RiSk and Civilization, not a combination of RiCk and Civilization – that would be closer to Robot Rally), and toward the end of the night, I went to tuck in my shirt, and I noticed that I had the same boxers on that I thought I saw sticking out of Woody’s shorts all night (It’s not as gay as it sounds right now, I swear). After an entire night that was spent going over more and more similarities between us, I pointed out that we had the same boxers on. That was almost a scary coincidence. Actually, it was a scary coincidence. And Colin pointed out something about the situation that I hadn’t thought of that made it even scarier…

Quote Of the Day 3/15/02

“And not only do you have the same boxers on, but you actually noticed that you have the same boxers on.”

-Colin (brother of Brad) Fergus

OK, I’ve given up. Maybe it is a little bit gay.

Molding apprentices,

Sorceror Extendo.

Still Standing Right Here…

Review of “Memento”

Crickets Screaming.

Doing it all backwards on a regular basis,

Somebody ought to buy this guy a Handspring Visor with a digital camera attachment.

-Johnny after seeing the film a second time

“Well, that makes a hell of a lot more sense now.”

Quote Of the Day 3/15/02

I absolutely need to give this film 11 bugs, tying it with Sixth Sense and Frequency (which actually has the limit of 11 bugs as approached from above).

Go rent it now, before you even read this, if you can even understand it at all.

But you’ll spend the entire film up until Nolan wants you to, changing your mind back and forth about whether or not to trust these characters, and it will totally engross you into the heart of the picture.

Or maybe not.

Lenny’s (Guy Pearce) entire memory exists on Polaroids he takes of people (Carrie-Anne Moss and Joe Pantoliano both, of the Matrix) who may be his friends.

Because of the film’s structure and premise, it is uniquely able to make up its own rules as it goes along, which gives Nolan a free ticket to indulge himself slightly past the point of acceptability.

Which is why I’m glad I saw it with my girlfriend.

Anyone willing to accept this will enjoy the film like no other, unless you watch it with Mike or this guy Dan from my bowling class.

But when all is said and done, they’re just tiny little pricks that shouldn’t take away from the enjoyment of the film.

The storyline is not without it’s cluster of pin-sized holes, small onto themselves, yet numbered enough to let a little light come through.

The movie is shot in reverse chronolgy scene by scene, each scene ending approximately just where the previous scene began, often picking up in the middle of the action which will disorient you for the next five minutes of the movie.

I was so disoriented at one point, I had to have my sister’s dog Romeo explain parts to me.

And the movie is told through his perspective, so it really fucks you up.

See the movie was about a Guy who has his wife murdered and gets hit over the head so hard he loses his ability to make new memories, so he tatoos important stuff like “John G. raped and murdered your wife” across his chest.

He’s also very good in this movie.

I spent a lot of time studying Guy Pearce’s pictures and the tattoos all over his arms, legs and chest and let’s face it, the guy has a nice body.

I didn’t want to have to go home and jerk myself around, beating on my head after this movie was over.

But it was really hard.

And I really wanted to.

From that second on, it was like a 4 dimentional timed puzzle I had to try to put together.

But I think that was it’s intention.

The opening shot was shot backwards with a polaroid being waved in the air and erased, and that’s the last thing I fully understood.

But seriously, from the day you were all twinkles in your fathers’ eyes, you haven’t come across anything this original.

If you are sitting there thinking “He wasn’t around for that conception,” get passed it.

If you want to see a refreshingly unique film with not only a new and excellent premise, but also possibly the most cleverly narrated style since the plot was conceived, go rent Memento.

If you want to go see a crappy movie, go see Evolution again.

Rating Career Moves for Participation in the Celebrity Boxing Match

Career Moves for Participation in the Celebrity Boxing Match

Todd Bridges – Apparently, this guy was in Roots before Different Strokes. -Cut to 2002- His new movie, I Know What You Did In the Hood, is due out in theaters in the fall. Talk about falling hard. I imagine he got more money from celebrity boxing than all six of his 2002 films will gross. Plus, kicking Vanilla Ice’s ass on national TV was everybody’s dream at one point in time. A-

Vanilla Ice – Another “nowhere to go but up” case. Maybe if he had won this fight, it would have been a different stroke. But as it stands, he got his ass plastered by Willis. That can’t be good for his bad boy image. But at least he still has those ugly tattoos to fall back on. C-

Paula Jones – She was filling in for Amy Fisher, who they wouldn’t let out of jail for the fight, and I’m not kidding. Not that the turning her head away and walking backwards technique isn’t her best chance at surviving, but it didn’t make for the greatest show. I take that back, yes it did. It was kinda funny watching Tonya Harding bang her from behind while she ran all around the ring. Kinda like life in the oval office. B-

Tonya Harding – This event screamed Tonya Handing from the second I heard of it, right before it came on. Of course she was going to kick Paula’s ass and everybody knew it. She did not dissapoint. And she didn’t need a crobar and a couple thugs to do it. At least Paula wasn’t screaing “Why me?!” the whole damn time. A+

Danny Bonaduce – Not only was this event right up his alley, but it was probably his idea. A+

Barry Williams – What the hell was he thinking?! He better either be broke or owe somebody a huge favor for this. First of all, he shouldn’t even take his shirt off on public TV for less than $2 million dollars. And maybe it was ego, but Danny Bonaduce is younger (at age 42), stronger, in shape, and has boxed before. After that performance, I’m pretty sure Alice could have kicked his ass. D

Quote Of the Day 3/12/02

Rachel: “Why does he keep falling down?”
John: “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he’s 47 and he’s never boxed before?”

No. It’s got to be something else.

Spreading some vanilla icing,


Still Standing Right Here…



I did it! I googled McSugarBoobs and I found her! I actually came up with a picture of her are her soon-to-be husband before they got married. I knew the stalking skills would pay off in the long run. So now I have a visual of her and I remember who she is now. And she wrote me and said her name was Karen, as the caption in the picture indicated also, but all through college I swear I called her Kathrine. Folks, if I get your name wrong, please stand up for yourself. I won’t feel embarrassed or humiliated or anything. I’m a big boy and I can handle making a mistake. Anybody who’s ever seen me ref can tell you the same thing. But to sit there and let me call you the wrong name for like 3 whole years has got to be either some sort of joke that you are playing on me or a clear indication that you are deaf. Of course I didn’t know Stryker’s first name for the first 2 years I knew him. And he’s got a really cool last name so who really needs a first name. Except now that he’s kinda being semi-professional, whenever he introduces himself to a client or somebody like that, he introduces himself as Greg Stryker. And then they meet me and I feel compelled to introduce myself as Dustin Fisher. How gay is that? “Hi, I’m Dustin Fisher” like I’m in kindergarten again. Add that to the list of ways Stryker makes me feel like an idiot. But anyway, point is that I now should be able to recognize this Karen/Katherine chick. What I’m going to call her when I see her, I’m not sure yet, but at least I don’t have to walk around Bennigans with a pink carnation in my mouth. Of course, I might do that anyway.

So I’m now addicted to this new board game called Settlers. It’s overwhelming characteristic is that you can’t explain it to anyone else. It’s a board game somewhere between Rick and Civilization, and I’m going to leave it at that for now. I play this game with John and other people my age a lot, but now that I bought it myself I’ve introduced it to my college friends and I found myself on a Monday night/Tuesday morning playing it in the lounge of a dorm until the sun came up. That was a serious deja vu. Probably because I had just done it the previous Saturday night too. But it was also a reality check for me. I was hanging in the lounge with two 19-20 year old sophomores when this came out. I know this comment was made with the intent to demean himself, but he did a pretty good job of deflating my self-worth in the process…

Quote Of the Day 3/11/02

“I need to get a life. It’s a Saturday night and I’m in the lounge playing a board game with my RA and a 27-year old man.”

-Colin Fergus, adolescent child

Well, at least he called me a man.

Letting the air out quickly,

Deflated Cricket.

Still Standing Right Here…