$4 Bills

$4 Bills

So my car no longer goes in reverse. This is quite possibly the most amusing anecdote of any car I’ve ever had. There was that Chevy Spectrum that wouldn’t start, which isn’t really amusing at all – then there was that 3 month period of time in which my window was stuck down (and another window got bashed in while that one was down). That one rivals the new problem, but falls a little short in the end. First of all, you could possibly go a few days without realizing you don’t have reverse at all. In fact, I think I did. But I’m not a very bright man. The one advantage the non-reverse thing has over the non-window up thing is exactly that. Dates. I could manage to go out on a date and not let on that my car doesn’t go in reverse. Especially if I scout out the place beforehand. The toughest hurdle to clear is the parking issue. There are two options. One is to make sure I get a pull-through spot. That way I can pull in and out without needing the option of reverse at all. The other option is to park on an uphill. That way I can use nature to make my car go the way it needs to but won’t otherwise. I’ll just have to find creative answers to questions like “Why are we parking so damn far away from the restaurant?” The third option is to get her to push the thing. If that needs to happen, the gig is up. Not only is it unromantic to get her to push the car while you steer, but it’s an 84 Cutlass Supreme. They’re pretty fucking big. “Hurry up and run around and jump in while we have the momentum!” I’m definitely not getting lucky that night. But the window down in the middle of November is a hard one to get around. “I like freezing my ass off. I just assumed you would too.” “The wool hat is a fashion statement and it’s just too damn hot in here with it on. So are the gloves and the scarf.” Didn’t get lucky then either.

Well, this quote came from a while back. So will most of these, but this one is running on being a decade old. One of those things that predates the quote but I still remember from time to time. Anyway, my dad and uncle were having a rather silly conversation in the car one day. I have no idea how it got brought up, but the topic of 2 dollar bills was much in the forefront. My uncle was trying to defend a claim that 2 dollar bills were worth more than 2 dollars. It seems silly I know, but this is the hand I got dealt. Anyway, my dad was on the other side of the argument, claiming that 2 dollar bills were still only worth face value. The following excerpt is from the end of that conversation…

Quote Of the Day 7/17/00

My dad: “No they’re not! Why would they be worth more than $2?”
Uncle Ed: “Well, there are some 2 dollar bills worth like 4 dollars.”
My dad: “What kind? The kind that are stuck together?”

That’s what’s called winning an argument by humor.

Stuck in a neverending 3-pt-turn,

Mr. Neutral.

Still Standing Right Here…