The Valentines Virus

I don’t knock Valentine’s Day as a national holiday, but I have to question a few things about it. Does anybody else find it disturbing that those little candy hearts that used to say stuff like “Be mine” and “You’re cool” now say things like “You suck,” “Fuck off,” and “Stop following me around, you pink hatted bastard!”? And why are they all of a sudden written in pen too?

Seriously, the little hearts now say stuff like “outta web site” and “click here” and “upload my floppy.” OK, one of those is a lie. Actually, two of them are a lie, and I’m not sure about the other one, but I know there was a common theme. The internet has grown so fast, it has now taken over Valentine’s Day. What’s next? A tale of this virtual bunny that hops to everyone’s house hiding little tiny mouse balls for the boys and girls to find in their hard drives, and only their Mother board knows where they are?

Well, anyway, we were at dinner the other night, and I was asking people a little sports trivia just for kicks. The question at hand was whether or not there were more people in the NBA over 7 feet or under 6 feet. I asked around and Russ answered that he thought there were more people under 6 feet than people over 7 feet tall. I informed him that he was wrong and the answer was that there are actually more people in the NBA that are over 7 feet than under 6 feet…

Quote of the Day 2/16

“That would have been my second guess.”

Actually, we all know that would have been at least his third guess.

Love, Liberace, and the pursuit of hacky sacks,
Screaming Cricket.

Still Standing Right Here…

The Ride Is Over

OK,since this is a special day, I’ll give you guys a special treat today. First of all, I hate about 95% of all love poetry, so in order for there to be a love poem that I could appreciate, I had to write one myself. It hits close to home, and I hope it lightens up anybody out there who is cynical when it comes to Valentine’s Day and the undertones associated with it. Hope you enjoy…

The Ride Is Over

The ride is now over, the thrill is now gone
But it still looks as tempting as when you got on
The hills seem much higher and plentifully more
And the valleys don’t seem quite as steep as before.

You beg and you plead that they must let you stay
But more people get on and they push you away
You cannot leave now – One last trip would be fine
But to get on again, you must get back in line.

The ride is now over, the fun is all gone
The chest bar has risen – you want to stay on
And as you flashback to the thrill of the ride
Your frail body shutters, you feel good inside.

You glance one last time at those admission gates
But there’s no time for that; more pleasure awaits
There are plenty of rides in your favorite theme park
And another few hours before it gets dark.

by Dustin Fisher

and that’s why I’m…

Still Standing Right Here…

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

I know Valentine’s Day is not the most fun day in the world for most of the people I hang out with, but here’s my advice. Get over it. It shouldn’t depress you if you aren’t seeing somebody at this time of year. I mean think about all the poor unfortunate guys who are seeing somebody right now. They are probably all stressing out because they have some sort of societal standard to live up to. That’s what I always did (OK, once) when I was actually seeing somebody when this day rolled around. Believe me, we’re better off than them. And some people decided to celebrate the holiday by playing Quake in their room. Hey, there’s a much shorter line than the Cheesecake Factory, the prices are lower, and you’re supplied with grenades and bazookas at your discretion. Beat that! Well, anyway, Robyn, Angela and Tracy were all encouraging Greg to go out and do something on this day of love. Angela brought up the fact that… well, hell, here’s the whole conversation…

Quote of the Day 2/14/1998

Angela: “You have to go out today. You have your touch me, feel me shirt on.”
Robyn: “Yeah, you need to start trying to find someone.”
Greg: “I AM trying!”
Me: “Greg, there aren’t any in your room.”
Greg: (pause) “I didn’t say I was trying hard.”

That’s the attitude, Greg. Eventually, they will come to you. Take it from a guy that’s been single for over a year. I know. 😉

Love, loneliness, and revenge,